Just keep smiling and swimming

The last six months have been some of the hardest I’ve experienced.  There have been stress, worry and yes tears but hopefully my smile is quick to return and as the saying goes just keep swimming (good thing I’m a strong swimmer).  I’ve had some ups and downs and a few of the things I set down became even more evident as I plowed through four months of 1000+ unread emails in my inbox this week(note to self purge some email mailing lists).  I’m slowly starting to get my life back on track but the struggle has been real.  A friend said to me they wished they could find the bravery they see in me.  It feels more like surviving one day at a time but I am filled with hope that soon I will be thriving again.

January was filled with navigating paperwork to get the separation process started and figure out how to live together for the next six month.  February brought one health set back after another.  I had an MS flare for a couple of days that rolled into a couple of weeks of shingles rash on my face (still healing) followed by another MS flare.  That left me whimpering into March.  I started working with a dietitian in February to try to identify what my food intolerances are and was doing well until I started taking meds for shingles which left me struggling with upper GI issues and caused a hard stop on adding more foods I could tolerate.  For several weeks going to the super market threw me into depression.  I’ve grown so tired of eating the foods I know are safe after nearly two months of the same options.  Then I ran out of allergy meds (my acupuncturist ran out and I couldn’t get more in time) and had a major flare up with that which now has me hacking through the last of the drainage.  I have not had much control over any of this so just have to keep moving forward.

January through May is also my busiest time of year at work and I would not have survived so far without the help of my amazing interns who polished the training manuals we use with the field finished updating content with limited guidance.  I’m also doing an extra project from the agency director working with teams across the agency on improving engagement, so I’ve had a lot of extra travel on top of my regular travels to work with the maintenance and construction teams with their IPad technology.  I know my work output has been only enough to get by so trying to get refocused and get a handle on my projects that need more attention.  Starting to make strides in that area knowing I have four more weeks with work travel ahead but I love my job so I’m not complaining.

I’ve also been working with Joe to figure out what makes the most sense for housing, co-parenting, etc.  After getting beat out on a couple of properties he was interested in I was able to connect him with the family of my intern who graduates in May about buying their condo and that worked out.  Just before that while we were all looking at houses together Abby encouraged me to look at a house up the street that was out of my budget.  It turns out it has a tiny house behind the garage that is income earning with a long-term renter which put it well inside my budget so in early June we will all be moving back to town with Joe out by the middle school and me just a couple blocks north of the library in Ames.  On the selling of our beautiful acreage which neither of us could afford to stay on, an acquaintance from the ISU pep band saw me post about it on FB and we now are working through the last of the details for that contract.

Pieces are starting to fall into place but still a lot of work ahead to start the next phase of my life.  I’m sure there are more though days ahead, and I’ll be asking for your help along the way but I have hope for brighter days and new adventures ahead.  As always thank you for reading.