Tough decisions and major changes

Joe and I have been together for 22 years with a lot of ups and downs.  I have been pretty private here about our time together because we’ve had good days and bad days and if I’m being honest the struggles never seemed appropriate to share here.  We’ve been through two rounds of heavy counseling together over the years as well as individual counseling but never could get to the part where we could come together enough. Through all the ups and downs of 22 years we have both changed, grown apart, become less tolerant.  


We have lived in three states (four if you count the first six weeks we spent together), working to raise two kiddos (and cats, dogs, lizard, goats and chickens), riding through the waves of different jobs good and bad.  In December the hard decision was made to dissolve our marriage. While it continues to be a painful, stressful time for our family we both agree we probably should have done this a while ago. What this means for us is separating the household into two with the kids going back and forth each week.  Moving into two new homes and saying goodbye to the acreage we all love. And most of all, depending on all the people who care for us to help us navigate the path ahead.

We are making this change amicably and with the best interest of our family in mind, and we are both determined to be better coparents than we have been partners.  So we ask of you not to pick sides as we will always be a family even if we are not sharing a home. Help us by listening to our sad stories and remind us that the sadness will lift with time, make us laugh, pull us out of the house when it's our week alone, remind us to be grateful and that we are loved.

This dissolution may not be like others as we are still in the same house as we work through the financial changes needed. We are making decisions together and trying our best to be kind and supportive to each other.  Please do not share your divorce horror stories or try to push us into choices you would make as we are taking our own path. We are going to need help moving (two times) and hope that the dust will have settled by August so we can establish our new normal.

So moving forward if you have questions ask them, we don’t want you to feel sorry for us or try to change our minds.  If you want to help or listen then check in, help us lighten the load for the kids if you are able. They are doing pretty good with all of this so far but the hard days are still ahead.  Just know we are grateful to have your support in whatever capacity you can provide.

As always thanks for reading.

Shawn and Joe