MS ... sometime it just sucks.

Well another busy weekend and fun trip playing hooky to Kansas City and now the body has had enough.  But before that here is a health update.  Last week I had my labs run, my first mammogram (clean), and an annual physical with my regular doctor.  I always do this around my birthday so I remember.  As it turns out my MS meds are adversely affecting my blood counts.

From my drug company's website possible side effects: "Blood problems. You may have a drop in the levels of infection-fighting blood cells, red blood cells or cells that help to form blood clots. If the drop in levels is severe, it can lessen your ability to fight infections, make you feel tired or sluggish or cause you to bruise or bleed easily."  I am feeling sluggish, bruising easily, and my white blood count has dropped to half what is was but I am still clotting ok (the new kitten has been testing that for me).  As my dad pointed out (he used to be a drug rep) that so long as the white blood cells I have work right that I can still stay healthy.  I just plan to steer clear of contagious people.

I had been having abdominal pain much of last week leading up to my appointment and with my labs being monitored already my doctor worked on the side of caution.  I spent Friday afternoon sitting in the clinic reception drinking horrible goop and waiting.  I had a CT scan with contrast and then had to wait some more to make sure I didn't need surgery for appendicitis.  It ended up being nine hours without food but I got through it and it turned out it wasn't my appendix it was a ruptured cyst on my ovary.  Apparently I have a family history of these and they resolve themselves over time but can make a person highly uncomfortable.  My doctor called my on her afternoon off to give me the results.

I have to give my primary care doctor, Dr B a big kuddos.  She is about my age and has been incredibly supportive of my health care needs for the last six years.  I asked her why she didn't press me a year ago to have MS testing and she said she likes to let people run through their course of options.  I appreciate her listening to me about my thyroid and where I feel best with my test numbers.  I appreciate that she moved her schedule around to tell me herself that I have MS and offered to be there for any questions or needs I might have related to things I might experience on this journey.  It makes me feel better to know she and her awesome nurse have my back.  You should know I struggle with mainstream medicine because I feel that MDs are traditionally trained around pharmaceuticals and symptom treatment, and do not get the training they need to look at the big picture and troubleshoot the root cause of people's issues.  I have three years of experiences with neurologist who couldn't diagnose my root problem because I passed all their tests but still had unexplained issues.  Anyway stories for another day, so it is a big deal that I appreciate my primary care physician.

So what have I been up to?  Well, Saturday morning I had an awesome time being "coach Shawn" to a group of 25 - 9 and 10 year olds learning about triathlon.  It was super fun and I plan to help out again in a few weeks.  Hopefully Abby can come with me next time as she wants to do a triathlon this summer too.  Then I raced up to Ames to watch Abby play in her last regular season soccer game.  Her team has REALLY improved over the last few weeks and I am really proud of the progress of Abby and her teammates.  They had soccer tryouts for next year and I wish each and everyone of them the best as they fragment onto new teams next year.  Most of them have been playing together since first grade.  Saturday afternoon we had our Girl Scout potluck... my sketchy narrowing in one dates left a few people confused but we had a nice time with the families that came.  The girls picked the badges they want to work on next year.  Now to spend the summer working on getting one or two helpers so I don't have to do it all myself.

My mom and husband (although he now says he isn't going to say anything to me about my scheduling) keep giving me a hard time about doing too much.  But the thing is somethings keep me going.  Like coaching these kids in triathlon, doing triathlon clinics, and most of the time leading my Girl Scout troop especially at camp.  It makes my heart sing... and while not required activities they are things I enjoy... it is the required activities that drag me down (getting the kids out the door in the morning, cleaning my piles of crap up... etc.) so keep up with the gentle reminders to slow down, but remember I need the heart sing opportunities too...

Sunday Joe and I dropped the kids off with my folks for almost a week.  On the way home we talked about running away to Kansas City to try to take in a Royals game.  Even though the weather was to be sketchy Monday night we decided to go.  It poured Monday night and Tuesday morning, but we shopped and giggled and had a lot of much needed carefree fun.  We even went and ran three miles together on a trail across from our hotel in the pouring rain.  We almost never run together and it was a fast, fun run for me and my heart sang.

I have to say though that it all caught up with me this afternoon.  After two hours in the car Sunday, four hours on Monday, six hours on Tuesday (had to go to Des Moines to pick up Joe from work) my body is saying that is enough.  So while I wanted to go pick up the free bricks to line my new as of yet unplanted garden bed, and mow the more than ankle deep front yard before going on my first triracers Ames ride of the season... my body did boycott and the only thing I managed to do this afternoon was take a quiet nap for an hour, eat the dinner Joe made for us, and write this blog (while Joe mowed the front yard and then played with the super energetic kitten) which is a major effort to type.  So I am going to head to bed and hope tomorrow leaves me with more energy so I don't have to let myself down again... and can keep up with my kids when my folks bring them back tomorrow.

I just want to say I appreciate you all.  I had several people tell me today they are impressed with how I handle this illness, and while I shed a few quiet tears today, I try to continue to be that person you all believe I am.  As always... thanks for reading.  Remember if you are willing and able... please consider a donation to my MS Bike ride next week.  I will get it done even if it takes me all morning...   Shawn's Bike MS fundraising page

Quick MS Update

Just wanted to post a quick MS update.  The last two weekends have been super busy with the end of preschool for JJ.  We rode our bike with third wheel to the library, my office and then to preschool to ride the Cyride bus and have our end of year preschool.  Next year JJ is off to kindergarten.

 

Saturday the 24th started with a bike ride with my triathlon team, watching Abby play part of a game in a soccer tournament, and then JJ and I went on a mission for flooring for our bedroom.  Then Abby and I had a date to get pedicures thanks to a gift certificate from a friend.  Sunday was  my 40th birthday.  I spent the morning cleaning house, had brunch cooked for me by Abby and Joe and then had a surprise visit from my dear college friend Kara who was passing through with her family on their way home to Texas.  We wrapped up the day with a splurge to Hickory Park and then had DQ chocolate ice cream cake.  It was a great birthday. We started off Memorial day with Joe and I going for a training ride so I could finally hit the road with my team tri bike.  What a sweet ride!!  Thank you Kyle's Bikes for sponsoring me.  I am loving this carbon fiber ride.  To close out the long weekend we had neighbors, friends and coworkers over for a potluck and were blessed with great conversation and beautiful weather.

This past work week my office packed up and moved from the north end of the complex back to the south end of the  complex where we normal are housed.  It was a lot of packing, hauling boxes and still persists in chaos.  I spent parts of last Friday pulling up carpet in the bedroom.  The joys of pulling staples and tack strips by hand... ah.  Saturday morning I painted an accent wall and then spent much of the day between shuttling kids around, helping my folks help me install new flooring into the bedroom (see facebook for photos).  We had a nice family dinner of a rare pizza and left over birthday cake.  Sunday we hit the yard hard.   I have three 4x8 raised beds in the backyard and several flats of garden starts I grew in my basement in need of some outside time.  I also had the idea of expanding another bed in the yard to make room for a sunflower garden and a space to plan cucumber and zucchini plants as they take up more room in my boxes.

Joe got the lawn mowed while the flooring was going in, and then tackled the tiller to pull the sod up for the new garden.  The kids helped a little in the pulling out of a dead tree and bush and planting of two new plants.  We got the garden all processed and new soil added but didn't get the plants in yet.  I have been watering them and they are protected on the screened in porch.  So anyway we have been busy which is why I am up way past my bedtime writing this blog (write or explode).  Oh did I mention we got a kitten on my birthday.  She is around 6 weeks old and still doesn't have a name but is so funny and cute.  She has yet to be introduced to the two big dogs, and the older cat.  She has however met our visiting Bearded Dragon who will be staying with us for June.

So to my quick MS update.  I am still taking my meds.  I am still symptomatic.  The heat seems to be causing a flurry of activity just when things seemed to be quieting down.  I met with the MS Lifelines nurse (sponsored by my drug company).  She gave me a few pointers and was great to talk to.  I also had my first round of labs run last week as part of my yearly check up.  I see my doctor later this week to see how things are going as well as having my first mammogram.  I will give an update next weekend.

The highlight of my week was making new MS friend connections.  I know I keep promising a post about the great people I have met who have MS... I will get there eventually.  At the triathlon clinic last week I met a man training for his first triathlon whose wife has MS.  He is riding the MS ride in Ames which I have also signed up for (see my fundraising link below).  We have already connected on Facebook.  Then I had a great conversation with a friend of one of my swimming buddies who has secondary progressive MS.  He is the first person I have talked to whose disease is progressing.  We have also connected over email.  The last great interaction I had is with a coworker who has MS.  We had lunch together and is seems we are MS twins.  He is the first person I have talked to who has the same symptoms as me, who has taking the same meds as me, and who has had similar struggles.  It sucks that anyone has to have MS, but it is nice to know there is a whole community of people out there who get my struggles, who want to hear my story and share theirs, and who are amazing people.  I truly am blessed.

Here is a wonderful article about making photos of the invisible symptoms of MS.  We look normal on the outside but feel far from normal on the inside.
http://www.couriermail.com.au/lifestyle/health/inside-multiple-sclerosis-the-invisible-disease-and-the-seeingms-exhibition/story-fnihoylo-1226934170326

I have one more thing to share.  I signed up to do the MS bike ride in 19 days.  It is a fundraiser for the MS Society to raise funds to do patient support, educate people about MS, and fund cutting edge research.  Even the smallest donations can make a difference so please consider donating to my fundraising page.

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Bike/MNMBikeEvents?px=13447566&pg=personal&fr_id=23097

Thank you for reading.

Triathlon My Love...

I mentioned in my last post that my kids and I actually had the pleasure of volunteering at a triathlon last weekend.  I have raced in dozens of triathlons and road races and have always wanted to give some time back.  Hickory Grove is one of those courses I love to hate.  The water quality historically is a crap shoot (although better now that the race is early) and the huge hill out of the lake to transition makes the quads burn.  The bike course is a super technical hilly three laps plus an out and back route.  The run course, especially on a really hot muggy morning covers all types of terrains (gravel, hills, uneven meadow and asphault).  Needless to say I stopped doing this race a few years ago, but the same folks who host this race also host my favorite race Bluff Creek which I will be doing in August.

Joe had been hemming and hawing about doing the Hickory Grove duathlon (run, bike, run).  I told him the kids and I were already planning to go as volunteers, so I got him set up with a teammate of mine who is an animal on the bike so he could do the run.  Post race he confirmed I am indeed not crazy as the run course was uugh!  Besides working the water stop and cheering Joe on we also got to encourage others on the course, cheer on my Kyle's Bike triathlon teammates and enjoy a beautiful day on the edge of a lovely meadow.  Yes I race for the scenery as well as the exercise and challenge.

Now for a little about my triathlon team....  I am the old lady on the team at 40 this year.  Bob the uber cyclist is the next oldest. Christian the trumpet player is next in line.  We have a few race years under our belt to go along with our ages.  Laura is the other lady triathlete and Army lady.  Then we have the newbies Scott and Andy who are probably more hard core than the rest of us and I love their excitement for the sport.  Andy at 26 just rocked his first Ironman and I cant say enough about what a great guy he is and his preparation and enthusiasm for doing this distance (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and 26.2 mile run).  You can check out his race report at http://www.discounttrisupply.com/blog/ I once thought I would do one as well, but at this point I think that is a long shot.  I would like to try for another 1/2 once I have a better handle on my MS.

Above: Andy, Christian, Kyle, Laura, Bob, Shawn, Scott

Above: Bob, Laura, Christian, Shawn, Scott and Andy

Pictures from our team kickoff party.  We got together in May to kick off the 2014 team and that is where the photos above were taken.  Last week we also held a transition clinic at Kyle's Bikes down in Ankeny.  It was a solid turnout and fun to meet a few folks new to the sport.  I will be posting my transition trips and tricks for the team blog and here later this week.  Stay tuned for race reports this summer as our team progresses through the season.

MS Post - Body Screams for Mercy

I knew going into to 2014 that the end of April and beginning of May were going to be busy and stressful.  Normally I know it would likely impact my thyroid and adrenals and that I would coast into May on fumes.  Being diagnosed with MS seems different, as even though I will likely struggle with my thyroid and adrenals I had finally somewhat figured out what I need to do to keep from tanking.  With MS I am starting at the first chapter of a book that hasn't been written yet.  I don't know what the beast will throw at me.  So far it has been numb hands and feet, which got worse the last 10 days.  Mild headaches from my meds actually dissipated the last two weeks with all the stress but are back hammering me in the head this morning.  The adventures of bladder control and three times a week injections (with an ice chaser) plus the joy of workout related flare ups (the creeping tingles) these things have all shown themselves and I am adjusting.  Photo below is one of the injectors I use to take my meds.

The last two weeks of April were busy at work kicking off a new project with a new contractor team.  As the program chair I also had a lot of program changes coming in for the 2014 GIS for Transportation Symposium.  So heading to Vermont the first week of May for this international conference with over 350 people, and four tracks of talks over three days I was already stressing.  The conference was wrought with constant program changes unlike I had experienced before and this is my fifth year working on the program.  Not sure what the deal was as we are pretty regimented in our protocols but just a lot of people being unprofessional with last minute decisions.  I found myself sitting in sessions getting texts and emails with more and more changes and that drove me to my room many afternoons to lay down and have quiet conversations or naps.  I came away from the conference having gotten enough sleep all but one night, minimal drinking and a pretty health intake of quality food.  I even got three short and sweet workouts in while I was there.

Of course then I get back to Iowa and the next day went to Girl Scout camp with nine of my troop of fourth graders.  We had preplanned all the food and another mom made that happen for us so I basically just had to show up at the drop off spot and go have fun.  We had a great time of hiking, archery, fire building, camp stories and even got some decent sleep.

I got home from camp and the family thrust Mother's Day upon me.  To top it off Joe and I had a huge fight which is pretty rare.  Monday night we had JJs preschool program and Tuesday night I had my triathlon team kick off gathering and by Wed I hit a wall.  I normally stand at work part of the day as my computer is on a stand that goes up and down.  By noon I was forced to sit.  Thursday morning I could barely drag myself out of bed, but I did it anyway because that is how I am.  I spent the whole day sitting, very still, wishing I was home laying down despite being quite productive.  That night I took Abby to soccer and spent quiet time journaling.  By Friday morning I was feeling only a little bit better and managed to get through the morning before finally going home and taking a nap.  I knew I had to go serve dinner at the soup kitchen Friday night and volunteer at a triathlon on Sunday plus time at the soccer pitch Saturday morning.  The nap Friday helped me.  I started Saturday with my forth day in a row with no exercise which was making me stir crazy!  I had a lot of fun on Sunday at the triathlon serving water with my kids and came home for a rest before spending a little time in the yard.

By now you are probably thinking "what are you doing Shawn!!"  Yeah me too.  When fatigue hits me (not something that is new to me unfortunately) I feel like I have led in my arms and legs.  Even the slightest effort, like holding open a book, or taking a step require the most focused effort.  All I want to do is lay quietly and watch a program on TV or sleep.  All the while the things I know need to be done are eating away at me.  I am terrible at being idle but I clearly need to work on reprogramming myself.  My friends with MS all said that when fatigue hits I need to listen.  I was completely overwhelmed by the intensity and duration of this round.  Things are slowing down for me now, my list is still long, and I get my temporary summer friend (a beautiful new specialized racing bike) tomorrow so I hope to get back to training very soon.  I did go to my core class today and stayed for the five minutes of corpse pose at the end.  It went way too fast, so with that, I will try to work in more down time, ask for help more, and keep trying to figure out how to manage my stressors.  As always thanks for reading.

MS Update - Just Breathe and Some Perspective

Warning... long and rambling blog ahead....  The last few months have been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.  Besides the MS diagnosis (loads of DR appointments, piles of books, blogs, phone calls and emails), life in general has been really busy.  I had a proposal review and contracting process plus kick off meetings and requirements gathering with field and central office staff.  I've been training and mentoring my two interns, and compiled a new IT equipment plan for my office. I've had Girl Scout meetings, a ladies weekend at the Girl Scout camp I went to as a girl, travels to see family to the North (MS Society Twins game) and East (Easter), the start of soccer season for Abby, chaired another awesome STEM night at Abby's school, pulled off my first Powderpuff derby races for our local area Girl Scouts, lead an Iowa GIS Council meeting and compiled a new ballot for officers, read three leadership books, and pulled off another successful, albeit incredibly dynamic and stressful, program at the national GIS for Transportation Symposium.  I head to camp today with my Girl Scout troop for more experiences in nature for my girls.  Jeez when I add up the last three months that sounds overwhelming to me... I guess it has been.

A week ago my mom sent me a card trying to remind me to take time out for myself...  She's right.  The only real time I have had for myself lately has been to workout, and until the last two weeks working out has sucked because of limbs going numb.  I also did a four week photography class and am attempting to learn tai chi but so far both are an exercise in frustration as I continue practicing. I'm going into my sixth week of my meds at full dosage, and the side effects thankfully have been minor.  I had to travel with my meds this week as I was in Vermont for six days for the GIS-T symposium.  This is a week I always look forward to.  It is the eight time I have attended over the last ten years, and it is a wonderful community of techy nerds like myself who are all one big family.  I get more hugs in a week at this than I do in a couple of months normally.  It is great to see old friends(never enough time to catch up with everyone), learn new things, grumble about things with people who can understand the things I do at work each day, and make new connections.  This week was more challenging then usual for me.  I mentioned the crazy fluctuating program which had me texting and emailing with my team during nearly every session trying to keep up with speaker and moderator swaps.  That was horribly stressful and distracting. 

It was the first time I had to go through airports with my medication and going out was ok, but coming back they had to go all through my travel kit and test the icepacks and fuss with my sharps.  In the process I met another GISer who's wife has MS and is pretty much in remission through diet after having taken one of the injection meds for a few years.  That gave me hope that all this effort to watch what I eat might just be worth it.  I was amazed I was able to keep my energy up until the last day (the last official night of the conference is the social and we went out dancing and got to bed early in the morning... so fun.) As for food intake I did ok.  The locals sent me menus ahead of time so I knew I would have things there I could eat, and where the menu was tigher I did make a couple substitutions.  There were a couple of times where I had a blood sugar drop but was able to have some trail mix, a lara bar, or a ginger lemonade and then felt ok.  I am still at 10-12 lbs down in weight and that is likely where I will stay.  Hoping that as I ramp up the intensity of my training plan that I will tone up a bit more but it is a bonus knowing I will be racing lighter this year.  I also got a couple of solid, hard runs in this week but didn't push myself to do more exercise than I thought I could handle thanks to long days.  Having to take meds three nights in VT did give me a good excuse and reminder to take care of myself and force me back to my room earlier than in past years.  There is still no love for going through that process three times a week and I am getting bruised more at the sites, as my squishy spots disappear due to diet and exercise.  See a pic of me at current state below.... finally feeling fit again.

So it was an emotional week following months of emotional weeks.  This one was harder it seemed, with the added stress leading up to and through the week because of my responsibilities (did I mention next year I am the local host... no worries I am already building an awesome team to help me.)  I am sad it is over for another year.  I already miss the wonderful people old and new colleagues, but am energized with some new directions to investigate, working group projects to participate in, and new networks opening before me.  Have I mentioned I love my job. 

To add to the emotional stuff, I continued to be floored by the kind consideration people give me when they hear my story... yes I like to talk (I like to think I am a good listener too) so I did share my MS journey.  I have been given this illness and it is my job to educate others ... to be an example ... to be a success.  I share my story because it is part of the 'Shawn" story... it makes me stronger to know all the wonderful people in my "network" are pulling for me to beat this and I am humbled by their generosity and love.  I got back from Vermont today and poured through a week of unopened mail and found a card with a book store gift certificate (yes I love books... the kind on paper) from one of my training buddies.  I also had another card and a box of truffles from my favorite chocolate brand (yes high end chocolate is the one vice I allow myself in moderation) from my truly amazing mom. 

After my last blog post my cousin made a comment about how strong I am.. it is true I refuse to be a victim... but I commented back that it is hard because there are always constant reminders that I have this awful thing going on inside my body that could get worse even though I am doing as much as I can to keep that from happening.  I told her " I feel like a harried, distracted mess waiting for the next frustrating complication most of the time... guess I am a good actor. ;) " and she responded " We all put on a public face, and sometimes we hide behind it.  There will be good and bad days.  But you have a group of people who will love you and give comfort and help.  You need to just ask.  Love you!"  I know she speaks for many of you and all I can say is Thank You!

After that conversation, I went and got a permanent reminder that even when I am having a bad day, or a sad day or feel like I am hiding behind a facade of optimism (no I don't do that very often... I prefer simply being optimistic) that I have got the strength to fight this thing, every day for as long as I need to.  I am truly blessed... my life is good... and I promise I will keep taking care of myself as best I can although I am sure I will need reminders from each of you some days to take time for myself, or to keep smiling, or my favorite thing a hug.  So I am going to shake off the sad, promise myself some journal time (I don't need to share all the crap that bangs around in my noggin with all of you) and get in to bed.  The picture of my new tattoo is below.

I have to wrangle a gaggle 10 year olds now, go to a preschool pageant on Monday and attend the kick off party for my triathlon racing team on Tuesday.   I am super excited to get back to racing and even more excited to be part of this amazing Kyle's Bikes team.  check out past blogs for my submission video and details.  I plan to roll out a series of blogs with training tips plus my race reports as we get into the season.  My first tri of the season is in late June, but I am volunteering with my kiddos at a race next weekend.  Until next time... thanks for reading.

Believe... Learning how to live without stress

A coworker posted the picture with the little dog in the wind on a day when I was struggling so I captured it to remind myself to believe...

believe in my heart that I am making the right decisions about managing my Multiple Sclerosis...

believe that the medicines I am taking will eventually get me into remission from symptoms...

believe that someday when I workout I won't do it with trepidation due to the likelihood and severity of a flare up...

believe that one day, in my life-time, they will find the right 'cure' for people with MS so this disease won't permanently leave me limited in some capacity...

believe that even on my hard days when I feel like crying and giving up, that I will take a deep breath and keep putting one foot in front of the other (or in some cases, let myself take a nap.)

I am a pretty busy person without dealing with not one (unstable thyroid), not two (unstable adrenals), but three chronic illnesses (MS) which I have struggled with unknowingly with MS, for the last eight years.  I believe in living life to the fullest although my husband and folks likely believe my life could be a little bit less full.  I have a tendency to keep pushing myself past when most people would stop, rest, regroup.  I am certain this tenacity and drive have also been part of my downfall.  I am not good at making time to do things just for me.  I am not the best at dealing with my stressors and letting things flow off my shoulders.  I have an army of medical professionals who keep me upright (acupuncture, massage, non-traditional chiropractor, etc.)

So with that I am attempting to redouble my efforts to allow myself some time to get back to meditation, learn how to do Tai Chi, and indulge in things like a ladies weekend to the woods or a photography class.  Unfortunately this adds more to my busy daily schedule but I am hoping the stress releasing nature of these activities counter acts any additional stress.

Meditation
Myths of meditation.  I have found when I meditate a few times a week I feel more calm and centered.
http://greatist.com/happiness/myths-about-meditation
A great resource for guided meditation series.  I have several of these programs and really like them.
https://chopracentermeditation.com/

Tai Chi
I started a Tai Chi beginner class with the hopes of learning the first 24 forms for the Yang family style.  I am only up to the first three forms, but learn a few more tonight.  I am hoping to do this a few times a week once I master more than three forms.  I find the movements very fluid and peaceful.  It will take a long time to master and I again find I have to be patient with myself.
http://www.taichiforlife.ca/?q=content/tai-chi-24-form-yang-style

I will report back on some of these efforts in a few months.  So with that I leave you with another quote (photo above) that seems fitting as a move along on my journey.  Below is a link to some of the work the Multiple Sclerosis Society is supporting.  I am tentatively planning to do an MS ride in June and would love it if you can help with my fundraising efforts.  As always, thanks for reading.

http://www.nationalmssociety.org/NationalMSSociety/media/MSNationalFiles/Brochures/Paper-Society-Research-Efforts-in-Progressive-MS.pdf

More resources and some great new recipies

Here are  a couple great blogs I found by MS folks living well.

http://milesandtrails.com
Beth is also a working mother of two who does marathons and half Ironman triathlons and was diagnosed in 2012.  Her latest blog is about finishing the Boston marathon.

http://thelesionjournals.blogspot.com/
Christie is another woman who is living with MS and is an avid cyclist.  She has a lot of great MS resource information on her site if you want to learn more about my illness.

Here is a great Ted talk which gives me hope.
Can a Damaged Brain Repair Itself by Dr Sidarthan Chandran

So I mentioned that I made some sweeping diet changes (minimal refined sugar and minimal refined carbs) and used Lent as a trial basis so I had somewhat of an out at the end of the Holy season.  I did really very good following this plan and only allowed myself a little birthday cake and ice cream for JJ's birthday a couple of weeks into Lent and the occasional high quality chocolate square. I spent a whole weekend in the woods with strangers and still managed to eat within my plan, and found the other ladies to be very accepting of my diet choices.  I have found a lot of snacks that take care of my cravings and don't throw me off my path.  Going into Easter weekend I allowed myself a little leeway with the family gathering over the weekend.  I allowed myself some refined sugar in the way of lemon meringue pie and decadent cupcakes.  None of these were gluten free and all of them had piles of sugar.  I also allowed myself a favorite in Black Market pizza which also has gluten.  Needless to say I paid for my indulgence with an unhappy gut and a sugar hangover on Monday.  Grrr.   Sadly outside of the amazing cupcakes I realized I didn't miss the rest as a post indulgence reflection.

I never planned to stop eating better after Lent but I felt like I needed to be less hard on myself after 47 days of sacrifice was complete.  MS isn't going to give me a break.  Even if the meds work and by some miracle I become symptom free again some day, I really feel I need to do better to support my body and it's ability to try to heal itself.  I believe this can only happen by fueling myself properly, getting proper rest, regular exercise and figuring out ways to better handle the intensity of my lifestyle.

So here are a few of my favorite snacks.  Homemade trail mix - walnut pieces, almonds, brazil nuts, cashews (all unsalted), lots of dried fruits, and the occasional m&m as part of several mixes I buy.  when I am on the go or heading to the gym before lunch if I don't have a handful of trail mix I will eat a Larabar which don't have any added sugar (unless they have chocolate) and are usually a mix of nuts and berries pureed together.

My favorite breakfast adventures - I have been making smoothies four mornings a week.  They are nutrient dense and quite filling.  My smoothie base is something like this - 1/2 cup of almond milk or 1/2 cup of juice, a banana, a cup of dates, 1/2 cup of almonds or almond butter, and a cup of plain Greek yogurt.  I then usually add a couple more fruit (a mango, a cup of mixed berries, etc) and a couple veggies ( 1/2 cucumber, 1 large carrots, one cup of steamed kale or spinach.  This usually makes two days worth of 12 oz smoothies.

New favorite recipes:
From "The MS Discoervy Diet" - Carrot and Ginger soup
1 yellow or white onion - peel and sliced
1 tablespoon of fresh ginger peeled and grated
2 tablespoon cooking oil
4-5 large carrots unpeeled
1 cup orange juice
1-2 cups broth (I used veggie but can use chicken)
salt to taste
2 tablespoons almond butter (essential the book says)

saute the onion and ginger together in the oil. (wrap any extra ginger in plastic, bag and freeze)  Cut the carrots into coins and add to the pot.  Add the orange juice and broth mixtures and cook 20 minutes until carrots are soft.  Add salt and almond butter.  Puree in a blender or food processor and eat.

Here is another fan favorite http://theshiksa.com/2012/05/01/quinoa-black-bean-burrito-bowls/  Here is my variation.

Quinoa Black Bean Burrito Bowl

Ingredients

• 1 cup quinoa (I used a seasoned box mix and just followed the directions to cook.  When I make plain bagged quinoa I use 2 cups of vegetable broth and some herbs.)
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• medium eggplant diced and sauteed in olive oil with garlic below
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 can (15 oz) black beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 cup shredded spinach instead of lettuce
• Salt
• Sliced avocado
• 1 cup freshly grated colby jack cheese
• 1 diced tomato 

Servings: 4

Cook the quinoa per box (or for around 20 min).  Heat up the black beans.  In bowls layer in a base of quinoa, then add black beans, then layer in spinach, sliced avacado, tomato and cheese.  Yum!

I will be posting more favorites soon even a great Brussel sprout and asparagus one!