Listening... I will be your witness

Here is a post came across in my daily email links and thought I would share. I appreciate all the people in my life who are my generous listeners. I know I can be a distracted listener and am working on my patience and opening my heart to your words. I hope to repay you the same kindness and my you know that I am your witness. The link to this blog is at the bottom. "My mentor Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, author of Kitchen Table Wisdom, spends a lot of time talking about generous listening in the programs she teaches such as these and in the Healer’s Art curriculum she developed for medical schools, which I had the privilege of participating in as a practicing doctor.

What is Generous Listening?

In Dr. Andrew Weil’s Integrative Oncology textbook, Rachel describes generous listening this way. “Simply listening to the experience of others validates its importance and weaves it more deeply into their lives. Most of us do not recognize the power of our attention and few of us can listen generously. As we listen we become busy considering things that concern us: do we agree with what is being said or not? Do we believe it? We listen competitively: what does this say about the person who is speaking and what does it say about me? Is this person more educated than I am? Smarter? More fortunate? More competent? And of course if we are health professionals, we listen to diagnose and to fix. But this is not the sort of listening that spiritual experience requires. Sharing a spiritual experience is always an act of trust and when someone trusts us with a story we need to listen not in order to agree or even understand but simply to know what is true for this other person. In witnessing it, we give it value and we make it more real for them and perhaps for ourselves as well.”

Generous Listening Heals

When she teaches us about generous listening, Rachel asks us to simply be present with someone as they speak to us. Even with as much experience as I have listening to patients, and now to my one-on-one visionary clients and unconventional patients, it’s amazing how quickly I notice myself veering away from generous listening in everyday life.

Every single one of us has the opportunity to be a healer every single day simply by practicing this art of generous listening. Here are the generous listening practices I use with my clients and try to use (not always so well) in the rest of my life.

Tips For Listening Generously

Be present. Live in the moment. If you notice yourself thinking about last night’s date or tomorrow’s business meeting, return to your breath. Feel your breath moving in and out. Be here now.
Make eye contact. Look at the person who is speaking directly in the eye. If this feels uncomfortable, try using a technique shamans use – look with your left eye into the left eye of the person speaking. Try to consciously look past the surface of who is speaking. See their soul. Witness their truth with magical eyes. When you stare into the eyes of someone while witnessing that what they say is true, you can change a life – or even save one. The healing power of this simple act goes beyond words. Try it today.
Don’t judge. Know that what this person says is true for them. Avoid the temptation to make what they’re saying about you. Their truth is their truth – period. It’s not your job to make it right or wrong.
Don’t interrupt. This is their time to talk. Check your ego at the door. This is not about you. Just listen. That’s all.
Open your heart to love. Visualize a pink light streaming out of your heart and into the other person. Feel unconditional love for this person. Make yourself a vessel for Divine love flowing through you. Make it your job to help the other person feel truly seen and heard. This is the best gift you can ever give someone.

When I married my husband Matt, I asked my BFF Katsy Johnson, who officiated our service, to read this quote from the movie Shall We Dance?:

We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness’.”

You don’t have to be married to someone to be their witness.

Try it today.

You just might discover that not only do you heal someone else, in doing so, you heal yourself.

Please share your thoughts. I promise I’ll be listening generously to you.

With love and an open heart,

****

Lissa Rankin, MD: Founder of OwningPink.com,

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-healing-art-of-generous-listening.html#ixzz1rZPU7OlG

Things Happy People Do Differently... how to be that person

An interesting article I thought I would share... I think am pretty solid with most of these however I certainly have to maintain my awareness to be successful. Wishing you all much happiness in life. Shawn

successify.net/2012/10/31/22-things-happy-people-do-differently/ It’s quite simple. Happy people have good habits that enhance their lives. They do things differently. Ask any happy person, and they will tell you that they …

1. Don’t hold grudges.
Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.

2. Treat everyone with kindness.
Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.

3. See problems as challenges.
The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.

4. Express gratitude for what they already have.
There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.

5. Dream big.
People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.

7. Speak well of others.
Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.

8. Never make excuses.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.

9. Get absorbed into the present.
Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.

10. Wake up at the same time every morning.
Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.

11. Avoid social comparison.
Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.

12. Choose friends wisely.
Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.

13. Never seek approval from others.
Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.

14. Take the time to listen.
Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.

15. Nurture social relationships.
A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.

16. Meditate.
Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.

17. Eat well.
Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.

18. Exercise.
Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.

19. Live minimally.
Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.

20. Tell the truth.
Lying stresses you out, corrodes your self-esteem, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.

21. Establish personal control.
Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.

22. Accept what cannot be changed.